Bad Hair Day

Pic courtesy of JoePix

THE BAD NEWS

My CHI (hair straightener) died yesterday morning.  Halfway through my morning routine!

Well, my Sunday morning routine anyway.  (I just let these crazy curls go wild the rest of the week. LOL!!)

Ok, its NOT the end of the world. I admit.

BUT it still sucks.


I know your wondering why its such a crappy day, if I didn't even plan to use it today.  Well, its more like a bad budget day.  See I can't budget in a new flat iron until sometime around New Year's!  (Dang medical bills)  Soooo, I just have to make due  I guess.

Curls, Curls, Curls.......................................................................................................................Everyday til then.


THE GOOD NEWS

Atleast I now have an excuse to buy the new Joico ReconstRx Vapor Iron. :-)

(Always look for the silver lining.)
~Lynn

My Debt Reduction Isn't Working (not fast enough, anyway)

Just for the record.

Bills Suck!

I hate paying bills. 

This is not a new revelation for me.

I hated bills even when I barely had any.

I hated them before my truck (which was paid for) decided to lay down and die and I had to buy a new vehicle and shell out money for a monthly payment.

I hated them before my auto insurance doubled because now that I owe for my car, I have to have full-coverage insurance.

I hated them before I had surgery. Now I have 12 different new medical bills to pay each month because they can't just send you one. Each and every single person who walks into your room and says hi, sends you a separate bill.   They have to.   Its federal law.    At least it must be, because it makes as much sense as everything else that comes out of Washington.

I also hated them before I realized that my deductible and total-out-of-pocket had TRIPLED since last year and my surgery is costing me THREE TIMES as much as I had expected. (Also 3x what it would have if I had had this surgery when I was supposed to. Guess that part is my fault thought.)

It's not like my paycheck is very grandiose to begin with, but once I pay bills, what's left is kind of like the crumbs left in your chair after you eat a wonderful, crumbly chocolate chip cookie.

Enough to remind you that you had one, but not enough to do anything with.


Ahhh, but this too shall pass.
My car should be paid for sometime next decade and if I sell enough organs maybe I can keep the hospital from declaring me in default and trying to re-install my uterus. 


Thank you for allowing me a moment to vent. It's greatly appreciated.

We Can Do Hard Things

Now that I seem to be recooped enough to be back on a regular schedule, I've been catching up on some of the blogs I like to follow.

One of those blogs is called Momastery by Glennon, a writer and "mother of three and wife to one" (as she describes herself). It is a fabulous blog that is open, honest and sincere. Her writing has a softness to it, and it oozes love. Love for her family, her friends, her readers, people she doesn't even know and even life. Its those qualities that draw me to it. While reading one of her posts that was written a few days ago, I had an "Ah Ha! Moment" (as Oprah liked to call them).

The post titled, Dear Chase (click hear to read it in its entirety), is a letter to her son as he starts the third grade.  In the letter she is trying to teach him about compassion. God's compassion and how we can and should show it to others.

I will quote the "Ah Ha!" part here:

"Compassion might lead you to tell a teaser to stop it and then ask the teased kid to play. You might invite a left-out kid to sit next to you at lunch. You might choose a kid for your team first who usually gets chosen last. These things will be hard to do, but you can do hard things."

These things will be hard to do, but you can do hard things.  Wow! It's like a light bulb went off in my head, and not necessarily just about compassion, but about everything.  If something is Right, then it may be hard, but we still have the strength to do the right thing. We Can Do Hard. Wow, what a revelation for me! God has given us this gift. This ability. And we all should use it everyday!

I've noticed that she (Glennon) uses this phrase alot in some of her posts and even has a sign hanging up in her house with the phrase on it. It's like a mantra.  And a dang good one, if I may say so. 

This one sentence puts into words an explanation to the group of comments/questions that irks me to no end. (partially because I haven't been able to think of an answer that doesn't personally degrade the commentor)  That question is the often off-hand remark  from others in regard to the relationship that I maintain with my ex, his wife and thier other two children.  "Your a d***m good woman" or "Your a better woman than I am, because I couldn't do it." or "How on earth do you do that?"

What I've always WANTED to say but have refrained from is, "Really? You COULDN'T do it? Or is it more like you WOULDN'T do it? Come on, get over yourself. If you loved your child/children enough you could. It's only matter of putting your children first and above your own selfish desire to be a B****! So don't look down your nose like I"M the one in the wrong, because you are! (snap, snap)"

Unfortunately, that response would be a very quick way to alienate people. People who probably only mean to give me a pat on the back to acknowledge my choice, and not the smack on the nose that I take it to be.

But Now! ........... BUT NOW!! I have a better answer.  One that I CAN say!............

"Often times the things that are RIGHT are hard to do. But, with God, I Can Do Hard Things." 

And you know what?  I feel great about that answer. It sums it up pretty well.  Don't you think?

I also find that motto to be very inspiring for future decisions. 

Maybe I need a sign in my house, too.

:-)

If I shot the neighbor's dog, does that make me a bad person?

OK! I didn't REALLY shoot the dog!


I could never actually do that. Unless I was in fear of life or limb or something equally as scary. But anyway, I DID shoot AT it.

With a BB gun.

Twice.

Right behind its butt.

Little bits of dirt pelted it right in the rear.

(There were three of them, but I only had time to reprimand one, before they ran away.)

So, I'm sure you're wondering what these neighborly pooches did to send me into such an evil rage.

Did they growl or bark at me?
No.

Did they intimidate me in any way?
No.

Did they destroy my property?
Well, not destroy really. But they have left their calling card several times before.

So what were they doing?
THEY! WERE! LAYING! IN! MY FLOWER! BED!!!!

After my early spring back injury that left me unable to do anything of substance for several weeks, I have been working overtime on getting my house in back in order. The inside and outside.  Especially the flowers and landscaping!  It doesn't take long for things to get out of control in the early part of growing season, and it has just about worked me to death trying to make up for it.

So, back to the dog incident......

I pulled into my driveway yesterday evening (after an excruciatingly stressful day at work) and see THREE, not one, but THREE dogs stretched out in my new mulch, SQUASHING MY HOSTAS!

OH THE RAGE!!!

Keep in mind that these are not your typical lap size dogs either. Two of the perpetrators are average size dogs, maybe about 35 pounds, the third however is quite large. Not mastiff large, but pretty dang big.  I guess-timate about 85-90 pounds, and she (he maybe, I dunno) looks like a huskie or at least what I think a huskie should look like.

As soon as I got out of the car, I walked to the front yard and tried to run them off.  I stomped my feet repeatedly, clapped my hands and yelled "Get! Get out of here!"

(That is the universal language for running dogs off isn't it?  Yes, I know it is because I have been using it for years. It always works, just like "Scat" works for cats.)

Well, this time it didn't work! Do you know what that big, fat, lazy dog actually had the gall to DO? 

It, ever so barely, raised its head up off of my freshly laid mulch, slightly tilted its head in my direction, huffed (YES, it HUFFED!), turned its head back and let it plop right back down!

I was FURIOUS! How DARE that dog blow me off like that!

I stalked off into the house all the while mumbling that I would certainly show THAT dog who was boss around here.  I was gonna shoot it!

Well, of course I could never really shoot it. Its not the dogs fault really. Blaming the dog would be like blaming a child who has never been taught not to be rude.  It's the owners fault.

What I wanted to do was march right over to the neighbors house, knock on his door and remind him that I don't allow my son to play in his yard and poop on his steps and that I would greatly appreciate the same from his dogs.

Unfortunately, I'm not 100% sure whose dogs they are. I have a pretty good idea, but I'm not positive. I see them going to and fro from one particular house more than any others. It is also the direction that I hear barking at night.

(I also remembered that I was moving soon, and it would be wise just not to rock the boat. Unfortuantely, I didn't remember that until after I had already scared the bejeezus out of the dog.)

 

These dogs do not have a collar (including flea collars), which tells me that they are most likely not vaccinated, or wormed, or even loved. I do not know their temperament. (Although, they may understandably become more aggressive towards me since this BB event.) I simply do not know these dogs, and I do not want them around my house.

Pets are a RESPONSIBILITY and that responsibility includes more than putting some food and water in a bowl everyday. It's so sad that we have to have a license for almost everything, except any jerk can be a pet owner or a parent.

Just FYI:  I am not an animal hater.  I love dogs, but I am also a germ-a-phobe, so I don't like strange dogs.  During my life I have had 4 of the best dogs ever. (OK one was actually a terror. He was like a kid who was always getting into trouble, but could give you one look with his big blue eyes and you were so over it.) I loved them and I still miss them terribly, especially when I'm sitting still.  I miss hearing their breathing and reaching down to pat their head while I'm reading or watching TV. It always comforted me to know they were there.  :(   But I was responsible for them.  They received regular vet care, were well groomed, and were constantly lavished with love.  They were NEVER allowed into other people's yards. In fact they were never outside without my direct supervision, except for a few rare occasions when  they were in a fenced in area.



Want A Job Here? Read This First!

My day job (you know the one that actually attempts to pay the bills) is as an office manager for a  railroad construction company. It is increasingly stressful, although I am not sure whether it is the job that is changing or myself. More likely it is a combination of both.  Anyway, that's a topic for a whole other day.

I seriously don't feel like going into to a bunch of shite describing my workplace dynamics and all of those involved, so I'm gonna just jump to the punch.

I have spent the last two days attempting to hire some new laborers.  This is not uncommon, as we have an extremely high employee turnover rate and I often get stuck with this responsibility.  Unfortunately, I would  rather do anything other than this. Almost.

I find this task excruciatingly painful and increasingly more difficult to even be civil. Remember this is coming from someone who quickly managed to learn how not only be civil but friendly (and mean it) to her ex and Etc. I'm sure some people will think I'm just being lazy, moody, bitchy or just a poor employee. Maybe I am, but you seriously have no idea what I have to deal with and I am not good enough of a writer to put it into words.

In an attempt to get out of this unenjoyable little task, I have been sitting here making a list of several arguments that I thought were rather convincing. At least at first.  Unfortunately, after a second thought or so I realized that I would be the only one convinced. So, if I can't get out of it then maybe I can possibly make it a little more bearable.

I created this MEMO to hand out to anyone wishing to apply for a job here. I think it will help, don't you?

___________________________________________________________________________________
MEMO
To: All Applicants
From: The Witch Behind the Desk

Tips & Tricks to Help Obtain Employment Here

1) Please write legibly. If I cannot read your name or phone number, what do you seriously think your chances of getting a job are? I can't even call you for griefs sake!

2) Read the Job Requirements Page. Attached to your application is a smartly written FAQ page. It will answer Most of your questions. And yes they do apply to you. 

3) Yes, the job does require travel out of town. It says so right there on that little FAQ page. Also, the last time I checked they took ALL of the tracks out of this area back in the 80's. Soooo, unless Doc Brown and Marty show up with the Delorian, we won't be working on those.

4) The application is short for a reason. Do not struggle over the application. I have made it as short as possible. I seldom bother with contacts or references, unless I know them personally.  Chances are that a personal reference is your tokin' buddy from way back anyway and businesses are so legally tongue-tied that if they have a bad reference to give, they most often wont. So I usually don't bother. I really only care whether you can pass a background check and drug test.  The rest you can prove to your foreman and super.

5) The App plainly states that we only hire laborers for a reason. It is because we Only Hire Laborers. I don't care how many years you say you have working for another company. Again, I say prove it to your foreman and super. If your worth what you say, you will quickly be noticed.

6) Don't get P.O.'d at me because you can't pass the background check. It wasn't me that had anything to do with your drug and assault charges.  I didn't put that on you, so don't put it on me.  If you can't pass the background check to enter the properties we work on, we obviously don't need you.

7) If you can't pass the Drug Test, Please, Please, PLEASE Don't Waste My Time! Seriously. I won't buy whatever story your selling. I don't care if you have prescriptions. It doesn't matter. You Can Not work while under the influence. Whether RX or No! I have heard every blue-blazing, cock-and-bull story over the last 7 years, so save it. If you fail a pre-emp test for me, your name goes on a Do Not Hire list. End of Story.

8) Flattery will get you everything. Except a Job. I am not an empty headed girl. I know false compliments and sugar coated B.S. when I hear it. No matter how many times you call me honey, sweetie, or sugar, and yes I have been told I was beautiful and have even been told that I was "da bomb"; it will not affect my vision to properly read your drug test.  FYI, your rotten teeth and skin sores are a giveaway that your lying about having "never tried Meth in your life".

9) I learn more about you from what you say than what you put on your app. You really left your last two jobs because you hurt your back(or your arm or foot, or whatever)? You are openly telling me that? You quit at the (fill in blank w/ easy-as-pie job) because you couldn't get along with your boss? You haven't had a job for several years? ...... GEEZ

10) Please Do Not Touch My Stuff. The paperwork and items on my desk are not conversation starters. It's what I was diligently working on before I was stuck with the crappy task of hiring you. Please do not touch, pick up, try to read, or ask me questions about anything on my desk. It is confidential and it is rude! I mean seriously, some of this should have been things your Mama taught ya. 

10) You do know this is a small town, right?  I may not know everyone who lives around here, but I know ALOT of people. Especially my age and older. Just because you may not know or recognize me, it doesn't mean I don't know you or your reputation. Please keep that in mind if your the guy who stole my four-wheeler back in '02.

11)Cheese and Wine may go well together, but we don't serve it here. The more you whine about "how bad you really need this job" and how "you would do anything, no matter how hard, and you will always be available, and you just really, really have to have this job", the more I am convinced that you will either Not show up at all or last only a couple of days.

FINALLY, Just a 'lil bit more.
If you really feel as though you Must bring your Mother, Wife, GF or even grandmother with you when you fill out your application or during the hiring process. Could you please, ever so sweetly ask them (and I mean this with the utmost respect) could you ask them to wear a bra? It makes me feel like I should take pics and submit them to PowM.com and it's a bit overwhelming. Thanks.

A Week in Review

Two weeks ago I needed to vent, so I wrote this post as a draft. Yet I was unsure whether to post it or not. It seemed too personal to other people.   Now, two weeks later I still feel the need to publish this post, not so much to vent, but because this feels very important to me.  So here it is.

OK, last week began with the death of a family member, and ended with his funeral. Throw in a sick kid and appearing in court as a character witness in a custody case, and you can see why I am just now posting anything for the last SEVERAL days. It was basically just a shitty week. Funny how death just kinda does that to ya, isn't it?

I'm still exhausted, but beginning to recoup.  Although, I don't have a lot to say about these events (mainly because I don't feel as though they are my stories to share and not everyone feels the same about having their laundry aired on the net)  there is one recurring theme.  With the exception of Ty boy's most recent fling with the croup, everything else this week has  pressed upon me the need to just let go. 

Anger, resentment, and revenge are just plain childish. Get over it. Move on.  Blood is supposed to be thicker than water, remember?  People make mistakes. We ALL do.  No one is perfect. We all are gonna screw up and do something stupid every now and then. We all are going to hurt those around us on occasion.  Sometimes without even realizing it and at other times it may have been more intentional than we want to admit to even ourselves.  It may make us feel better to place blame elsewhere and promote ourselves as a helpless victim in a particular situation, but rarely is the story so one-sided. 

I just want to reach out to anyone who may ever read this and say that if you have anger in your heart for another person, please just let it go.  I am here to tell you from my own experience that the person you are hurting the most is YOURSELF and the person who will benefit the most from this new perspective is YOU.

It takes a strong will to be the "bigger" person and more often than not its not a one-time deal.  It can take years to repair bad relationships, but it is worth it. I know that if I'm not careful here, I will begin talking in circles. So essentially what I want to say is this:

                                  If you are currently embroiled in a custody battle, please, please, please play fair.  Children need both parents in their lives.  Do not try to "punish" the other party by making it difficult for them to be a parent.  There are so many kids who would love it if their mother/father actually wanted to be in their lives.  So they may have been a crappy spouse (other half), but that doesn't mean they won't be great parents.  Give your children the opportunity to have a great relationship with everyone.  As long as there is not a safety concern (a real one, not imagined), learn to work with your former ex.  Begin by letting go of the anger.  I can assure you in the end life will be much sweeter.

Also, forgive your family members.  I don't care if your brother did burn done the old home place because you inherited it instead of him.  Someone has to be the grown up here.  I have witnessed a feud that has existed in one generation for as many years as I can imagine.  Recently that fire had begun to smolder one generation down.  With the death of my great uncle this past week, this family feud became a full blaze in two more generations.  Is this the kind of legacy we want to leave behind?   It is petty and it is pathetic.  Death hurts, and it makes us more vulnerable to these things, but it DOES NOT make it OK.   Love your family.  Even the kooks.  And yes, even the assholes.

10 Reasons I Love My Small Town....

#10 The commute time is awesome. I reside smack dab between two small towns. The one where I work and the other where my son goes to school. It takes me approximately 35 minutes to travel from my house to town number one, drop my son, off, and then backtrack to town number two for work. (I lived and worked outside of D.C. for over two years, and that was hell.)

#9  I know the people.  I like knowing who is in contact with my son.  Out of the 24 children in his class, I know over half of the parents fairly well.  The class teacher's aide was a close friend to my Dad when they were in high school. The school secretary as well as one of the custodians, worked with my mother for years. The principal is an old family acquaintance. I have known his karate instructor since I was 14. His Sunday school teachers were my Sunday school teachers. etc, etc.

#8  It's cheaper. I order two x-large multi-topping pizzas for dinner one evening. Less than 16 Bucks. Delivered.

#7  People still help People.  I had a flat tire a few months ago and three different people stopped to see if I needed help. One was a woman.

#6  I can actually see the stars at night.

#5  Crime is negligible.   The cat burglar I thought I heard on the front porch was actually the horses loose again.

#4  I can be friendly.  Have you ever smiled at strangers while walking down a street in New England?  Bet you'll only do it once.

#3  You can't get lost.  With only 3 stoplights in town, directions are a cinch.

#2  Neighbors are Neighborly.   I'm sure my neighbors hate to see me coming.  They're thinking, "Geez, what can she possibly need now?" but for people who don't live near me and my ______ (fill in blank with dead battery, low tire, can I borrow your phone because I can't find mine) problems; they will gladly loan you a cup of sugar AND remember to ask how that pie turned out.

#1  Camp in my backyard.  If I really want to be away from it all I'll just drive 5 minutes to my uncle's farm.

All of these things. These beautiful, wonderful things. I will repeat over and over again. They will be my mantra.  As I drive 35 miles one way to restock Ty's school lunch supplies tonight. 

Small town grocery shopping sucks.