I'm a Mother, I worry. It's what I do.

I know I worry too much.

I know that I obsess over things that needn't be obsessed over. 

I know this AND I admit it. It's part of my G.A.D. ..............

..................but please, Please, PLEASE don't tell me that I'm being silly!

These are real fears.  Real fears for Real things. 

It's not like I'm worried about the monsters under my bed or anything.

Wait let me back up to this morning and to the incident that has initiated this little rant.

I awoke about thirty minutes early this morning, because I wanted to spend a few extra minutes with Ty. I was supposed to drop him off at his Daddy & Lilly's on my way to work, then they would all be heading to Gatlinburg for a few days of vacation.

So I hurried up, showered, dressed and what have ya.  After pulling that off in record time, I then commenced to getting Ty up and ready.  As I was gooping up his Mohawk, I starting talking to him about how important it was that he get back home to me safely.  I stressed that he had to be extra careful while traveling.  To make sure that he doesn't run ahead of Daddy and Lilly or get distracted  by something and not keep up with them.  I reminded him that it was super important not to talk to strangers and that all bad guys don't necessarily look like Two-Face from Batman.

As I was reciting all of this to him, someone (who's first name is My and last name is Mother) walked by and told me to quit being silly. She said that I was only "projecting my anxiety".

WTF!!!

So have I only IMAGINED seeing those missing kids on milk cartons?  Are Amber alerts only an urban legend?

I don't think so!

I understand that my Mom (oops, I mean 'Someone') was only trying to keep me from scaring Ty and possibly even trying to make me feel better.  The problem is, that she has no idea what it feels like to have your baby away from you. To feel helpless and afraid of a situation that is out of your control.

Fortunately for her (and my sister and myself), she and my Dad stayed married. Therefore, there were never any separate vacations.  She never had to send her baby off without her. I'm even sure I was in like the 5th or 6th grade before I even went to the mall with out her. 

Let me specify here that I'm not concerned that his Dad or Lilly won't take good care of him.  I KNOW they will.  They love him, care for him and worry about him the same as I do. I'm not worried about lack of care here.  I'm worried that even in the best of circumstances things can go wrong. 

I'm not being silly. Just ask any parent of a missing or abducted child.

I also understand "someone's" ill attempt to ease my mind. I do understand that.  I understand that from her perspective it is "silly" to worry over what you cannot change. 

I wish I didn't worry so much. I wish I could just enjoy the next couple of days instead of spending it feeling like my guts are caught in a wringer.  I really, really do.

But it's who I am, and what I do.

As a Mother and as Me.

P.S.  ~ I know your thinking, "Wow! She just moved in over the weekend and she's already upset at her Mom."  But that's not exactly true.  I am venting, yes, but I'm not really upset with her.  I understand that she is my Mother, and that "roles" die hard.  It's hard for her to see me doing something that she herself doesn't necessarily agree with and NOT "correct" me for it.  I understand that.  I also understand that with a little admonishment, corporal punishment and correcting hard work,determination and patience this too will change.