Two weeks ago I needed to vent, so I wrote this post as a draft. Yet I was unsure whether to post it or not. It seemed too personal to other people. Now, two weeks later I still feel the need to publish this post, not so much to vent, but because this feels very important to me. So here it is.
OK, last week began with the death of a family member, and ended with his funeral. Throw in a sick kid and appearing in court as a character witness in a custody case, and you can see why I am just now posting anything for the last SEVERAL days. It was basically just a shitty week. Funny how death just kinda does that to ya, isn't it?
I'm still exhausted, but beginning to recoup. Although, I don't have a lot to say about these events (mainly because I don't feel as though they are my stories to share and not everyone feels the same about having their laundry aired on the net) there is one recurring theme. With the exception of Ty boy's most recent fling with the croup, everything else this week has pressed upon me the need to just let go.
Anger, resentment, and revenge are just plain childish. Get over it. Move on. Blood is supposed to be thicker than water, remember? People make mistakes. We ALL do. No one is perfect. We all are gonna screw up and do something stupid every now and then. We all are going to hurt those around us on occasion. Sometimes without even realizing it and at other times it may have been more intentional than we want to admit to even ourselves. It may make us feel better to place blame elsewhere and promote ourselves as a helpless victim in a particular situation, but rarely is the story so one-sided.
I just want to reach out to anyone who may ever read this and say that if you have anger in your heart for another person, please just let it go. I am here to tell you from my own experience that the person you are hurting the most is YOURSELF and the person who will benefit the most from this new perspective is YOU.
It takes a strong will to be the "bigger" person and more often than not its not a one-time deal. It can take years to repair bad relationships, but it is worth it. I know that if I'm not careful here, I will begin talking in circles. So essentially what I want to say is this:
If you are currently embroiled in a custody battle, please, please, please play fair. Children need both parents in their lives. Do not try to "punish" the other party by making it difficult for them to be a parent. There are so many kids who would love it if their mother/father actually wanted to be in their lives. So they may have been a crappy spouse (other half), but that doesn't mean they won't be great parents. Give your children the opportunity to have a great relationship with everyone. As long as there is not a safety concern (a real one, not imagined), learn to work with your former ex. Begin by letting go of the anger. I can assure you in the end life will be much sweeter.
Also, forgive your family members. I don't care if your brother did burn done the old home place because you inherited it instead of him. Someone has to be the grown up here. I have witnessed a feud that has existed in one generation for as many years as I can imagine. Recently that fire had begun to smolder one generation down. With the death of my great uncle this past week, this family feud became a full blaze in two more generations. Is this the kind of legacy we want to leave behind? It is petty and it is pathetic. Death hurts, and it makes us more vulnerable to these things, but it DOES NOT make it OK. Love your family. Even the kooks. And yes, even the assholes.
No comments:
Post a Comment